I have now been in ordained ministry for 22 years. It’s quite hard to believe. When I was ordained (originally in the Episcopal Church) I was 30 years old. At the time, that made me one of the youngest clergy in the Diocese. I was one the first to be allowed to train at Trinity School for Ministry, an Anglican seminary rooted in the British Evangelical tradition. At every clergy gathering I was the “youngster” and felt very self-conscious about my age.
Now that I’m 52, I find myself categorized as one of the “old-timers”. The ACNA has intentionally focused on developing and ordaining younger clergy, many of them starting out as church planters as I did in 2002. I have found myself increasingly called on to offer help and advice regarding various situations including strategy, leadership, conflict and finances. This has made me reflect about some of the lessons I’ve learned, many of them the hard way. So I have been thinking, “What would I tell my younger, newly ordained self? What advice would I offer him?” My hope is that this might help other clergy, who like me 22 years ago, were wide-eyed, nervous, and earnestly seeking to be good and faithful priests. In that vein, I’d like to give 5 Hard Lessons and 5 Wonderful Lessons the younger me could anticipate over the next 20 years.
Five Hard Lessons
1. Stay Humble- This is first because it is one of the most fundamental lessons any minister must learn. In Romans, Paul says, “I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.” (Romans 12:3) It is easy when you are new to ministry and young and desiring to prove yourself to become “puffed up”. Seek the counsel of older, wiser and more experienced ministers to mentor and be your spiritual advisors. Do not go at things alone. In your humility, be open to the surprising and unconventional ways God may work in the life of your church. Strive to stay in step with the Spirit (Galatians 5:25). Sometimes you may well need to pick up your pace to stay with Him!
2. Avoid Tunnel Vision- This is the tendency to over-focus, especially on problems. I still have to fight this sometimes. We can get tunnel vision by focusing too much on denominational politics, on gossip (yes, even as clergy), on conflicts or “foolish controversies”. (Titus 3:9). We can also become over-focused on an area of ministry because we enjoy it. If we enjoy preaching, it is natural to spend time preparing sermons. But we can’t neglect the other crucial tasks we must steward such as pastoral care, administration, counseling, and leadership development.
3. Choose Leaders Wisely– This is something that will improve as you gain experience. But resist the urge to fill leadership needs simply with willing bodies. It is better to leave a leadership position unfilled than to fill it with someone who is immature in the faith and not ready to fill such a role. That may mean more work for you, but trust me, filling a leadership position with someone who is not suited for it, will create MUCH more work for you. Pray about your selection of leaders and set standards early. Spend time developing leaders and put them in place slowly. Spend plenty of time talking with God about this.
4. Never Use the Bully Pulpit– Never use the pulpit to settle a score, to discipline someone, or “call someone out” even if you do it in a general way by working it into the sermon. The sermon is for the preaching of the Word of God, not for you to use as a megaphone for your pet-peeves. I must confess to having done this a few times. I had to repent of it. If you have an issue with someone, either make a face-to-face appointment or have a phone call with them. Do not try to settle conflicts via text or email. Use Matthew 18 as your guide. But do not defame the pulpit as a tool for yourself. It is a sacred trust to proclaim the Word of God.
5. Do Not Neglect Your Own Soul- It sounds counterintuitive to many people that those of us who are in ministry would ever not be able to care for our own souls. “Don’t you guys only work one day a week?” I have heard that more times than I can count! Once you enter ministry, you discover that there is ALWAYS something to do. There is always something you feel like you’re neglecting. There is always some need- another counseling session, another email, another crisis, another complaint. It can get overwhelming. You must take care of your own soul. You simply must make time for prayer, scripture study, and rest. You must guard it. Our enemy, Satan, wants nothing more than to pull you away from this (Read Richard Baxter’s The Reformed Pastor for a great discussion on this issue). Put these things on your calendar and guard them.
Five Positive Lessons
1. You’ll Love Your People More than You Can Imagine- Sometimes in ministry it is easy to slip into a managerial mindset instead of a pastoral mindset. But the longer you walk with the people God has given you to shepherd, the more grace He gives you to love them. As you live life with them, your love for them will grow. You will be present in the highs and lows of life with them. You will learn their stories, their burdens, their fears, and their losses. The will become family. Seek long pastoral assignments where you can put deep roots down and invest in your people.
2. Slow and Steady- When I was younger, I was impatient. I wanted to build a great church and I wanted to build it fast. Notice the “I” statements there! The Lord has taught me, time and again, that it is not about me. It is not about “my” success. It is about the steady and persistent work of the Gospel in the local community. Healthiness must have a greater priority than any sense of numerical success. That means a lot of days you’ll wonder if you’re doing any good at all. Sometimes it may seem your words are simply bouncing off the ceiling. Don’t believe it. Slow and steady wins the race.
3. The Joy of Seeing God Work- One of the greatest joys in ministry is seeing God work in the lives of people. It is the joy of baptizing the college student, seeing the long-time church member’s faith come alive or seeing spiritual and emotional wounds healed. It is the joy of seeing people step up into ministry for the first time. God works in his time (which is why point #2 above is so important). But you WILL see God move. Celebrate every victory, no matter how small. Journal it and keep a record of it. Every movement of God in your congregation is a powerful expression of His grace and love.
4. Confidence Develops through Trials- These are never fun. Depending on their nature, they can be pretty gut-wrenching. Trials come in many types, There are the “normal” trials of life –sickness, death, broken families, relational discord, tragedy, natural disasters and so on. This life is tough. This is the common experience of everyone one of us, including your parishioners (and yourself). But there are the trials of leadership that, at least to me, can be so taxing. You need to understand that the following things will happen: You will be misunderstood. Instead of seeking clarification or understanding, some will prefer to malign your intent to others. You will be falsely accused. I have had friends betray me, leaders walk out, fellow ministers feed false rumors and slander me. There have been passive aggressive social media posts and sheep stealing. My wife has been subjected to the wrath of angry parishioners. As bad as all that sounds, and as painful as all that can be, you learn to rely on God in a new way. You will develop confidence the more you deal with these things. Do not be overly discouraged. While often painful, you learn that they will not last and you will learn more about point #5 below.
5. Sustaining Presence of God– Finally I would remind my younger self that the Lord who called you into to ministry will sustain you in the calling. Do not give into the temptation to try to do ministry under your own power. In the 1662 Book of Common Prayer the Bishop prays over the candidate that God will “grant also unto you strength and power to perform the same, that he may accomplish His work which he hath begun in you,” (1662 Book of Common Prayer IE, page 606). Assuming the Lord has called you to this work, He will sustain you in ways you cannot now imagine. Always seek His guidance and strength and he will continue to equip and empower you to this work. Be encouraged, he will never leave you or forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:8, Hebrews 13:5). Be expectant for the Lord to work. Never forget that he has invested in his church with his very life and has promised the very gates of Hell will not prevail against it (Matthew 16:18).
I am sure there is more advice that I would give to my younger self. But I hope these points will also encourage new (and more experienced) clergy in the fulfillment of their their charge to, “be messengers, watchmen, and stewards of the Lord to teach and forewarn, to feed and provide for the Lord’s family; to seek for Christ’s sheep that are dispersed abroad, and for his children who are in the midst of this wicked world; that they may be saved through Christ forever.” (1662 Book of Common Prayer IE, page 601)